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Tag Archives: LeBron James
To view this post…visit the new page www.ChronillogicalDisorder.com. The post features the new TOT Slim stapler from Swingline. Just when you thought staplers couldn’t get any more convenient…they did. Prepare to have your pants ripped off through your mouth.
The Miami Heat had a scare early Thursday morning as the airplane that was transporting the team from Miami to Cleveland was reported to have a “wing flap issue”. The flight crew reported that the issue became noticed on the approach into Cleveland Hopkins airport. The Miami Heat arrived safely at the airport around 2:30am.
The Heat are set to square off tonight in Cleveland against the Cavaliers when just five months ago, LeBron James left the Cavaliers as a free agent and signed with the Heat. This will be his first game back in Cleveland since the departure.
NBA analyst Ketch Roberts called the airplane incident “karma coming back to LeBron James for what he did to the people of Cleveland.”
Around 3:00pm on Thursday, a statement was released from an anonymous witness claiming that James had attempted to pay a technician an undisclosed amount of money to rig the plane so it would not be able to pass inspection to take off from Miami International Airport.
Shortly after the release of the statement, NBA commissioner, David J. Stern, spoke out regarding the rumor saying that, “While we cannot yet prove that any transaction took place, we are still investigating it as a possibility. I mean, come on, it’s a little suspicious that there is a ‘witness’ claiming that this happened…and then something actually happened. I’ll ‘tweet the deets’ as soon as we know more.”
LeBron James held a 5:00pm pre-game press conference regarding the issue. He defended the rumors saying, “I ain’t done nothing. No sabotage. This was just a freak accident. I promise. This has nothing at all to do with me not wanting to come back to Cleveland, although the timing is…oh, how do you say…serendipitous? I’m 90% sure I used that word uncorrectly…as well as that one. I had many good years here in Cleveland. I know I didn’t give you a championship and all, but I could have. I wasn’t really trying all that hard anyway…only ‘cuz I didn’t want the other players to feel bad. Honest.”
After almost 40 minutes of overly apologetic and mostly suspicious rambling, James concluded saying, “I promise I had nothing to do with the plane not working right. I really wanted to come back to Cleveland…I’m not scared. This just says a lot for the airlines because a plane in that condition wasn’t even supposed to be able to take off. That’s what that dude told me at least…I mean I Googled it.”
One reporter spoke very briefly to Heat teammate Dwyane Wade about the allegations. When asked if he though James was guilty, Wade’s only response was, “O.J. Simpson”.
The game is scheduled to start at 8:00pm tonight and LeBron James is expected to play. Extra security precautions have been put in place for the game and Cleveland fans will have difficulty taunting James while he is off-court. A protective cage has been built for James to use during the game. It is said to be pummel resistant, drink proof, food proof, and it even has a feature that filters offensive comments and turns them into words of praise.