Tag Archives: Humor

Top Celebrity Children Dressed As Grown-Ups


One of the worst things you can do is dress your child as if it is an adult.  There’s something creepy about a child walking around dressed as if it was a full-grown person.  This is not something that occurs often with normal people…but celebrities are horrible at violating this rule.  Okay, it’s not a rule…but it should be.

I have chosen three of the best celebrity children dressed as adults, in a segment I like to call: “Celebrity Children…Lookin’ All Adult and Stuff”.

Romeo & Cruz Beckham Victoria Beckham with her two kids, Cholo and Vato.

This picture says, “If I can’t adopt foreign kids like Brad and Angelina, I’ll just dress them like Cholos and make the best of what I have.”

Children should not be treated as accessories and this is clearly what is going on here.  Although it is an odd accessory choice.  Her outfit says “Hollywood” while her kids say “East LA”.  That is a confusing and unnecessary combination and should be avoided at all costs.

We would like to see Victoria step it up a little bit and dress her children in something a little more appropriate.  I don’t care if she decks them out in Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana gear…this has to stop.  Grade: D-

The Jolie-Pitt Clan

The Benetton Bunch is seen here walking through the airport.  Is there any order to this?  We have pictured from L to R: Ninja Courrier, Serena Williams, Asian Businessman, Lara Croft, and Lesbian Yachtsman.

If this isn’t bad enough, just imagine if all of their children were pictured here.  They have two others…and they’re twins.  If they were pictured I’m positive that they would be in matching Leprechaun outfits.

The Jolie-Pitt’s get two grades.  I give them an A- for almost completing a rainbow, and an F for outfit non-execution.  Average Grade: C-

The Original MTV's "Teen Mom"

Maddie Briann Aldridge (aka Jamie Lynn Spears’ daughter)

Oops, Britney’s sister did it again (insert lame round of applause).  This would almost be an acceptable outfit for a celebrity child, if not for the mother dressing almost the exact same way.  What we have here is essentially a mother trying to dress like her daughter, while still dressing her daughter.  It’s just a mess.

1988 called and it wants its neon shirt and jean jacket back.  Zing.

I am going to let JLS slide on this one just because she had her child when she was just 17 years old.  She still dresses like a child herself and it only makes sense that they look the same.

I would like to start a rumor here.  Jamie Lynn Spears’ daughter is pregnant.  Spears will become a 20-year old grandmother.  Remember, you heard it here first.  Grade: B+

"4 is the new 20"
Kingston Rossdale

It only makes sense that this child be a fashion icon…15-20 years from now.  The offspring of Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani is caught out on the town eating an apple.  He has ditched the ‘rents and lives by his own rules.  At least he is making healthy dietary choices.

This outfit proves that 4 is the new 20.

There are no other celebrity children that can top the adultness of Kingston Rossdale.  This is why I have awarded him with the “#1 Pet Peeve:  Children Dressed as Adults Award”.

Just to prove my point, I’ll let you enjoy another photo (left).  This is young Kingston as he leaves his rehearsal space in West Hollywood.  He plays guitar and sings for a Village People cover band, “The Macho Men”.

This photo reminds me of the movie Big Daddy where Frankenstein (Julian) is allowed to pick out whatever he wants to wear.  I believe he walks out of the house in a mix of aquatic gear and business attire.  I could be wrong.  Tell me if I am.  Either way this is just awful.

There is no possible way to grade Kingston Rossdale.  I don’t know whether to give him an F or an A+.  There’s just too much going on to tally any kind of points.  Made-Up Grade: Q+-
Advertisements

LeBron James Returns to Cleveland, Sabotages Airplane


The Miami Heat had a scare early Thursday morning as the airplane that was transporting the team from Miami to Cleveland was reported to have a “wing flap issue”.  The flight crew reported that the issue became noticed on the approach into Cleveland Hopkins airport.  The Miami Heat arrived safely at the airport around 2:30am.LeBron James "Please, don't kill me"

The Heat are set to square off tonight in Cleveland against the Cavaliers when just five months ago, LeBron James left the Cavaliers as a free agent and signed with the Heat.  This will be his first game back in Cleveland since the departure.

NBA analyst Ketch Roberts called the airplane incident “karma coming back to LeBron James for what he did to the people of Cleveland.”

Around 3:00pm on Thursday, a statement was released from an anonymous witness claiming that James had attempted to pay a technician an undisclosed amount of money to rig the plane so it would not be able to pass inspection to take off from Miami International Airport.

Shortly after the release of the statement, NBA commissioner, David J. Stern, spoke out regarding the rumor saying that, “While we cannot yet prove that any transaction took place, we are still investigating it as a possibility.  I mean, come on, it’s a little suspicious that there is a ‘witness’ claiming that this happened…and then something actually happened.  I’ll ‘tweet the deets’ as soon as we know more.”

"It was both serendipitous and uncorrect at the same time. It was simmontaneous."

LeBron James held a 5:00pm pre-game press conference regarding the issue.  He defended the rumors saying, “I ain’t done nothing.  No sabotage.  This was just a freak accident.  I promise.  This has nothing at all to do with me not wanting to come back to Cleveland, although the timing is…oh, how do you say…serendipitous?  I’m 90% sure I used that word uncorrectly…as well as that one.  I had many good years here in Cleveland.  I know I didn’t give you a championship and all, but I could have.  I wasn’t really trying all that hard anyway…only ‘cuz I didn’t want the other players to feel bad.  Honest.”

After almost 40 minutes of overly apologetic and mostly suspicious rambling, James concluded saying, “I promise I had nothing to do with the plane not working right.  I really wanted to come back to Cleveland…I’m not scared.  This just says a lot for the airlines because a plane in that condition wasn’t even supposed to be able to take off.  That’s what that dude told me at least…I mean I Googled it.”

One reporter spoke very briefly to Heat teammate Dwyane Wade about the allegations.  When asked if he though James was guilty, Wade’s only response was, “O.J. Simpson”.

The game is scheduled to start at 8:00pm tonight and LeBron James is expected to play.  Extra security precautions have been put in place for the game and Cleveland fans will have difficulty taunting James while he is off-court.  A protective cage has been built for James to use during the game.  It is said to be pummel resistant, drink proof, food proof, and it even has a feature that filters offensive comments and turns them into words of praise.

PSA: 5 Reasons to Own/Not Own a Bear


5 Reasons to Own a Bear

#1 Eats intruders

#2 Knows which brands of toilet paper to use#3 Immediate conversation starter

#4 Free fish

#5 Likes Jumanji and The Jungle Book just as much as you do.  Also, hates Bear Grylls just as much as you do.

5 Reasons to not own a bear

#1 May confuse loving owner as an intruder (see #1 reason to own a bear)

#2 If you are a honey-enthusiast, you will never taste your favorite sweet treat again.

#3 Will not wear the “Pooh” shirt you got it

#4 Gives painful high-fives

#5 Addicted to Coke

Vikings fire Childress, hire “Major Dad”


On Monday, the Minnesota Vikings fired head coach Brad Childress following Sunday’s 31-3 loss to their division rival, Green Bay Packers.  Last season, Childress led the Vikings to within a field goal from going to the Super Bowl.

This is Brad Childress with is famous "Okay, I'll go pack up my office" look.

The team decided not to tell quarterback, Brett Favre, about Childress’ departure, and put Favre on an information lockdown.  On Monday, Vikings owner Zygi Wilf told reporters, “It is important not to upset Brett (Favre) with only six games left in the season.  He does not deal with change very well.  We all saw what happened when he left Green Bay.  We’re just trying to minimize the damage.  His old body can’t handle this kind of news.”

Tuesday afternoon, in an attempt to get a coach in place without Favre noticing, the Minnesota Vikings hired former “Major Dad” TV star, Gerald McRaney, as Childress’ replacement.

It's uncanny. It's like Brad Childress with a George W. Bush grin.

Wilf told reporters, “The decision was easy.  I mean, look at him.  He looks exactly like Brad (Childress).  Just slap some glasses on him and we’re good to go.”

When asked about Favre possibly noticing the age difference between McRaney and Childress, offensive coordinator Darrel Bevell said, “It’s only a 9 year difference.  Sure “Major Dad” looks a bit older than Chilly, but Favre’s eyes also aren’t what they used to be.  Look at his 17 interceptions this year.  He’s throwing balls to everyone.  If I had a dollar for every time Brett has come to me this season and said ‘sorry coach, thought it was one of our guys’, I’d be able to buy like 17 McDonald’s double-cheeseburgers.”

"Brett didn’t seem to notice...He gave a very dramatic and confused stare...After about two minutes he shrugged and kept walking." (Click to Enlarge)

Favre and McRaney met for the first time Wednesday morning in the Vikings locker room.  A team representative said, “It was great.  McRaney played it so casual.  I haven’t seen him act this well in years.  Brett didn’t seem to notice the difference, but gave us a close scare when they first crossed paths.  He stopped and gave a very dramatic and confused stare into the distance.  You know, kinda like they do on soap operas.  After about two minutes he shrugged and kept walking.  No harm done and we’re happy to have ‘Major Dad’ in the locker room.”

McRaney has yet to speak out about his new job, but a close family friend told reporters that, “He’s just happy to have steady work and hopefully help out the Vikings.  Gerald has always had a soft spot for charities.”

Justin Bieber has Lego hair


Many celebrities have attempted it.  One manchild has perfected it.  Ladies and gentlemen…Justin Bieber has amazing Lego hair.

Look at it...his head is like a dipped cone from Dairy Queen. A perfectly molded shell of hair.

Justin Bieber has done what Zac Effron, Pete Wentz, and the entire Kennedy family failed to do.  Justin Bieber has transformed this hideous hairstyle into a mainstream pop culture phenomenon.  While the cut is annoying and awful, not since the actual Lego people has this hairstyle been pulled off so effortlessly.

The “Bieber Cap” has attracted a lot of celebrity attention recently.  A few of these celebrities have even tried to sport this questionable look, including:

New England Patriots quarterback, Tom Brady.

Close to perfection, however Tammy...I mean Tom, falls just a little bit short on the execution.

 

Juno star, Ellen Page

Other than the slight flaw in the hair, I really don't see the difference between Bieber and Page. They should date.

 

Friends star, David Schwimmer

Nice try Ross. It's like he's attempting the "Bieber Cap" and Farrah Fawcett feather hair all at once.

 

The Beatles

John, Ringo and Paul almost have it. George is way off. This is clearly a case of "Beatles did it first, Bieber did it best".

 

ABC News Anchor, Ted Koppel

Wow...he's old.

I have nothing else to offer you on the subject, and I am not trying to add to the growing “Bieber Fever”.  I just thought I’d bring this to your attention so that you can start searching for “Bieber Cap” sightings of your own.  Once again, Justin Bieber has Lego hair.  Thoughts?

Also, if you notice the “Bieber Cap” on any other celebrities…please let me know.  Please know that the official term for this Lego-like hairstyle is indeed the “Bieber Cap”.  You heard it here first, and yes, you can use it.  If you’ve heard it elsewhere then tell me and I’ll see if I care or not.

Greg Giraldo: 1965-2010


I am an avid fan of stand-up comedy and have been for the past ten years. I don’t know what draws me into it, but I admire anyone who can get up on stage, grab a mic, and attempt to make people laugh. Many people try, most of them fail. However, a few go on to be great.

One of my favorite comics, Greg Giraldo, passed away yesterday from an overdose. The news surprised me, however the cause behind it did not. Edgy, hostile and witty, he was one of the few comics that possessed the ability to take a room full of strangers, brutally offend them, and still have them laughing hysterically by the end of his set. Some of his credits include numerous appearances on The Late Show with David Letterman, Last Call with Carson Daly, Last Comic Standing, and of course the Comedy Central Roasts. I’m not going to do a full bio on the guy because if you care enough you can Google him and read up for yourself.

On my list of comics that I’ve wanted to see perform the most, Greg Giraldo was at the top. I remember he came to Atlanta not long ago and I was unable to go to the show. It didn’t bother me too much because I had the “I’ll catch him next time” mentality. The same thing happened with Mitch Hedberg before he died. This is why you don’t procrastinate.

To me, the coolest thing about him was that he was a lawyer before quitting to become a stand-up comic. I’m not sure of the accuracy of this tid bit, but Wikipedia has him only being an active comic since 1999, which by industry standards is impressive that he achieved so much in so little time.

In summary, if you respect and appreciate something/someone…do yourself a favor and go see it in person. You’ll regret it if you don’t. Just a suggestion, but a fitting tribute to Greg Giraldo would be a Comedy Central roast in his honor…just saying.

You can check out some of his work by clicking the link below:
Greg Giraldo’s Videos on ComedyCentral.com

Here are a couple worthwhile videos from YouTube:
Just For Laughs

Jimmy Kimmel Live

If you have anything to add, or any corrections…leave a comment. Thank ya.