The Alabama Crimson Tide defeated the first-year Georgia State Panthers last night 63-7. Most people would consider this to be an absolute blowout, however Panthers head coach, Bill Curry, claims that they (Panthers) are making strides and “would have done better had we been able to get the opponents’ films to play on our VHS player.”
The malfunctioning VHS player in the filmroom at Georgia State has been acting up all season and was once again on the fritz last week. When asked why they don’t just buy a new one, or get a DVD player, Curry said, “that would be great but unfortunately the budget doesn’t allow it. We aren’t the Yankees.” The team is currently taking donations to put toward a new video system and hopes to have it functional before next season.
The one bright spot in last night’s slaughter came when Albert Wilson returned a kickoff for a 97-yard touchdown. Alabama head coach, Nick Saban, spoke about the play during a postgame press conference saying, “we felt bad and had to let them have something. That young kid will remember that touchdown for the rest of his life. You’re welcome.”
Alabama will face-off against the unstoppable Auburn Tigers next week. The Crimson Tide will need to shift their focus toward figuring out how to stop Cam Newton, a task at which no team has been successful at so far this season.
The illustration below should accurately describe the relationship between the Georgia State/Alabama game to the upcoming Alamaba/Auburn game in terms of size and sheer importance.
The man is of average height, and is incidentally NOT Indiana Jones. We cannot stress enough that there is NO relationship between the Georgia State Panthers and Indiana Jones.