Tag Archives: Alabama

Alabama eats Georgia State, looks to feast on Auburn

The Alabama Crimson Tide defeated the first-year Georgia State Panthers last night 63-7.  Most people would consider this to be an absolute blowout, however Panthers head coach, Bill Curry, claims that they (Panthers) are making strides and “would have done better had we been able to get the opponents’ films to play on our VHS player.”

The malfunctioning VHS player in the filmroom at Georgia State has been acting up all season and was once again on the fritz last week.  When asked why they don’t just buy a new one, or get a DVD player, Curry said, “that would be great but unfortunately the budget doesn’t allow it.  We aren’t the Yankees.”  The team is currently taking donations to put toward a new video system and hopes to have it functional before next season.

The one bright spot in last night’s slaughter came when Albert Wilson returned a kickoff for a 97-yard touchdown.  Alabama head coach, Nick Saban, spoke about the play during a postgame press conference saying, “we felt bad and had to let them have something.  That young kid will remember that touchdown for the rest of his life.  You’re welcome.”

Alabama will face-off against the unstoppable Auburn Tigers next week.   The Crimson Tide will need to shift their focus toward figuring out how to stop Cam Newton, a task at which no team has been successful at so far this season.

The illustration below should accurately describe the relationship between the Georgia State/Alabama game to the upcoming Alamaba/Auburn game in terms of size and sheer importance.

The man is of average height, and is incidentally NOT Indiana Jones. We cannot stress enough that there is NO relationship between the Georgia State Panthers and Indiana Jones.


Evening News Fishing For Content

Almost 28,000,000 views and climbing, the Bed Intruder Song video on YouTube has become a pretty huge success.   I’m not here to talk about the song…but rather the actual newscast.  I’m not including the newscast for obvious reasons…it’s news and it’s boring.

Here’s the video…which will herein be referred to as Exhibit A:

Okay now who put these people on TV?  Really???  Really?????  I get that they are the victims, but couldn’t they just write a statement and let someone else edit/read it?  It’s not so much that these people are idiots, but that the news station let it go on the air like that.  I know when I turn on the news, I love to hear a good “run and tell that” story from time to time.   All I’m saying is that news networks need to take a “best of” from all of these interviews and use that footage.  This includes redneck alien sightings, trailer floodings, NASCAR riots, and the Ghetto Leprechaun.  Maybe I should include that video too.  I think I will.

This is Exhibit B.

Pretty sure I’ve made my point…whatever the point was.   Just use discretion Evening News people.  I know you need to fill up time but lets just play by the “quality not quantity” rule and stick to the good stuff.