Shake Weight, Not Babies

A few years ago, you couldn’t turn on the TV without hearing “Shaken baby” this and “Infant shaken to death” that.  It seemed that nothing could be done to stop the rising epidemic.  In the mid-1990s, 1 out of every 500,000 babies born would meet an early death from being shaken too vigorously.  The frequency skyrocketed by the mid-2000s to 1 out of every 2,500 babies.  Let it also be known that during this period, no baby-on-baby shaking was reported.

What had these babies done so wrong to deserve such violence?  In 2007, studies were conducted.  Out of a random sampling of 100 babies, most displayed a normal temperment and typical baby-like tendencies.  The study was then conducted on the parents/guardians of 100 already fallen infants.  Almost 30% showed signs of misplaced aggression caused by the 9/11 attacks, while an astonishing 68% found it necessary to blame Hurricaine Katrina.  The other 2% just wanted to know what it would feel like to shake a baby.  They were instantly judged by others in the room.

Dr. Kahlil Ostrohausen, who conducted the studies, referred to the results saying that “Hurricane Katrina happened over two years ago.  Get over it.  It’s not worth shaking a baby over.  And 9/11…really?”.

In early 2010, a product called the “Shake Weight” was released in stores.  The “Shake Weight” is a modified dumbbell that, when shaken, creates a vibrating effect to work out muscles.   Due to its suggestive nature the product went viral and flew off the shelves.

In August 2010,  The NAASIWJCC (National Association Against Shaking Infants Without Just Cause Coalition) pulled the most recent dead baby shaking numbers and were shocked to find that only 1 out of every 3,000,000 babies were being shaken to death.  This was great news for the organization as they had been receiving much ridicule over the past fifteen years.

Dr. Ostrohausen conducted the study once more on the guardians and found that aggression had gone down, and their arms looked more toned.  Most (78% were found to be using the “Shake Weight” at home.  As it turned out, all of their misplaced anger from 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina was being taken out on the “Shake Weight”.  It should be noted that not all of these guardians were using the “Shake Weight”.  About 20% had resorted to shaking puppies, kittens and “little people”.  The same 2% from before still shook babies for enjoyment.  They were judged a fair amount once more.

The creators of the “Shake Weight” received an award from the NAASIWJCC in August 2010 for all of the good their product has caused.  Their new ad campaign “Shake Weight, not Babies” is becoming a National success.  For more information go to &  Women and very small “Men” can go to


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s