Monthly Archives: September 2010

Greg Giraldo: 1965-2010


I am an avid fan of stand-up comedy and have been for the past ten years. I don’t know what draws me into it, but I admire anyone who can get up on stage, grab a mic, and attempt to make people laugh. Many people try, most of them fail. However, a few go on to be great.

One of my favorite comics, Greg Giraldo, passed away yesterday from an overdose. The news surprised me, however the cause behind it did not. Edgy, hostile and witty, he was one of the few comics that possessed the ability to take a room full of strangers, brutally offend them, and still have them laughing hysterically by the end of his set. Some of his credits include numerous appearances on The Late Show with David Letterman, Last Call with Carson Daly, Last Comic Standing, and of course the Comedy Central Roasts. I’m not going to do a full bio on the guy because if you care enough you can Google him and read up for yourself.

On my list of comics that I’ve wanted to see perform the most, Greg Giraldo was at the top. I remember he came to Atlanta not long ago and I was unable to go to the show. It didn’t bother me too much because I had the “I’ll catch him next time” mentality. The same thing happened with Mitch Hedberg before he died. This is why you don’t procrastinate.

To me, the coolest thing about him was that he was a lawyer before quitting to become a stand-up comic. I’m not sure of the accuracy of this tid bit, but Wikipedia has him only being an active comic since 1999, which by industry standards is impressive that he achieved so much in so little time.

In summary, if you respect and appreciate something/someone…do yourself a favor and go see it in person. You’ll regret it if you don’t. Just a suggestion, but a fitting tribute to Greg Giraldo would be a Comedy Central roast in his honor…just saying.

You can check out some of his work by clicking the link below:
Greg Giraldo’s Videos on ComedyCentral.com

Here are a couple worthwhile videos from YouTube:
Just For Laughs

Jimmy Kimmel Live

If you have anything to add, or any corrections…leave a comment. Thank ya.

Antoine Dodson’s Rise To Fame


As a follow-up to my last post regarding the enthralling evening news interview that skyrocked Antoine Dodson into fame, I’ve decided to share this gem of a clip.  Katie Couric decided to check in with Antoine to see what had changed since achieving viral success via YouTube & The Gregory Brothers.   Give it a watch…and I must say, it couldn’t have happened to a nicer woman.  Enjoy your 15 minutes Antoine…you go girl.

I intend to do my own follow up to see if his/her music career and hair salon become a success.   Meanwhile I’m going to go back to my apartment and collective 5,600 YouTube hits, and dream about the better days ahead.  I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it…people like me.

Evening News Fishing For Content


Almost 28,000,000 views and climbing, the Bed Intruder Song video on YouTube has become a pretty huge success.   I’m not here to talk about the song…but rather the actual newscast.  I’m not including the newscast for obvious reasons…it’s news and it’s boring.

Here’s the video…which will herein be referred to as Exhibit A:

Okay now who put these people on TV?  Really???  Really?????  I get that they are the victims, but couldn’t they just write a statement and let someone else edit/read it?  It’s not so much that these people are idiots, but that the news station let it go on the air like that.  I know when I turn on the news, I love to hear a good “run and tell that” story from time to time.   All I’m saying is that news networks need to take a “best of” from all of these interviews and use that footage.  This includes redneck alien sightings, trailer floodings, NASCAR riots, and the Ghetto Leprechaun.  Maybe I should include that video too.  I think I will.

This is Exhibit B.

Pretty sure I’ve made my point…whatever the point was.   Just use discretion Evening News people.  I know you need to fill up time but lets just play by the “quality not quantity” rule and stick to the good stuff.

Shake Weight, Not Babies


A few years ago, you couldn’t turn on the TV without hearing “Shaken baby” this and “Infant shaken to death” that.  It seemed that nothing could be done to stop the rising epidemic.  In the mid-1990s, 1 out of every 500,000 babies born would meet an early death from being shaken too vigorously.  The frequency skyrocketed by the mid-2000s to 1 out of every 2,500 babies.  Let it also be known that during this period, no baby-on-baby shaking was reported.

What had these babies done so wrong to deserve such violence?  In 2007, studies were conducted.  Out of a random sampling of 100 babies, most displayed a normal temperment and typical baby-like tendencies.  The study was then conducted on the parents/guardians of 100 already fallen infants.  Almost 30% showed signs of misplaced aggression caused by the 9/11 attacks, while an astonishing 68% found it necessary to blame Hurricaine Katrina.  The other 2% just wanted to know what it would feel like to shake a baby.  They were instantly judged by others in the room.

Dr. Kahlil Ostrohausen, who conducted the studies, referred to the results saying that “Hurricane Katrina happened over two years ago.  Get over it.  It’s not worth shaking a baby over.  And 9/11…really?”.

In early 2010, a product called the “Shake Weight” was released in stores.  The “Shake Weight” is a modified dumbbell that, when shaken, creates a vibrating effect to work out muscles.   Due to its suggestive nature the product went viral and flew off the shelves.

In August 2010,  The NAASIWJCC (National Association Against Shaking Infants Without Just Cause Coalition) pulled the most recent dead baby shaking numbers and were shocked to find that only 1 out of every 3,000,000 babies were being shaken to death.  This was great news for the organization as they had been receiving much ridicule over the past fifteen years.

Dr. Ostrohausen conducted the study once more on the guardians and found that aggression had gone down, and their arms looked more toned.  Most (78% were found to be using the “Shake Weight” at home.  As it turned out, all of their misplaced anger from 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina was being taken out on the “Shake Weight”.  It should be noted that not all of these guardians were using the “Shake Weight”.  About 20% had resorted to shaking puppies, kittens and “little people”.  The same 2% from before still shook babies for enjoyment.  They were judged a fair amount once more.

The creators of the “Shake Weight” received an award from the NAASIWJCC in August 2010 for all of the good their product has caused.  Their new ad campaign “Shake Weight, not Babies” is becoming a National success.  For more information go to www.NAASIWJCC.com & www.ShakeWeightForMen.com.  Women and very small “Men” can go to www.ShakeWeight.com.

Highway Toll Incident


If you drive on a toll road everyday, and you don’t have an EZ Pass, Cruise Card, or whatever your state calls it…you are an idiot and I hate you.

So, this morning I was driving to work on GA400 and fast approaching the toll plaza.  I do not have a Cruise Card so I merged over into one of the toll lanes marked “Cashier”.  At this point…I was tired, yet happy (as illustrated below).

Photo Courtesy of the Georgia Department of Transportation...Notice that I'm driving perfectly between the lines.

I apparently I misread the “Cashier” as it turned out to be the “Stop ‘N Chat” line.  Of the three cars in front of me, two of them had a nice little chat with the tollbooth lady.  Not a short chat…at least 45 seconds for the first car.  Almost a full minute for the second car.  I was now slightly irate after my 2 minute wait.  I’m aware that rhymed.  I’ve got a 4ft stack of flow back at my apartment.

Anger is brewing inside of me. Like a quiet storm waiting to demolish poor people's houses. Seriously though, rich people never have house damage.

The second car I’m speaking of was the car directly in front of me.  It was a woman, and her color is irrelevant for all of you racists out there.  She was driving a Mercedes Benz S-Class car, so it’s safe to assume she’s wealthy.  However when leaving the house this morning, knowing she’d be taking a toll road, she “forgot” to bring the $0.50 needed to go through it.  Not even $1.00 to make change.

Keep in mind that I can hear this entire conversation between her and the tollbooth lady.  So after Mrs. Mercedes (I can only assume she’s married.  No single woman owns a car that nice.  Sorry, just saying.) pleads her case for almost a solid minute, she gets out of the car…and walks toward my car.  Luckily I’m not a filthy-rich idiot like her and actually have money on me.  As if she was talking to a child, she asks if I “would be a good Samaritan today” and lend her $0.50 so that she may go through the toll plaza.  Of course I gave her the money so that she could get out of my way.  Then she proceeds to thank me…in the most talked down to and condescending way possible.  At this point I would have given anything to turn into a monster and devour her.

She now had 2 minutes of my time...and my money. It makes me giggle because if I were black, I would have been an African Samaritan.

She clearly viewed me as a lesser human, when it was her that has a $50-$80K car with no money.  I’m not sure what happened to that lady after that.  I don’t really care.  I’m signing up for a Cruise Card today though.

If I were a conspiracy theorist I would say that they hired that lady as a marketing tool for the Cruise Card.  My experience with Mercedes caused me to sign up for the Cruise Card today so I’d never have to put up with people like her ever again.

I just realized that I never gave her a receipt.  If you are the lady in the above picture, please email me and I’ll get a receipt in the mail to you asap!  How inconsiderate of me.

Fortune Cookie from 9/7


My fortune cookie from today reads:

“A single kind word will keep one warm for years.”

What a stupid fortune.  One what?  I assume it’s referring to a person…but that’s ridiculous.  Even the most homeless person of all time wouldn’t get years of good-timey feelings from a compliment worth a million dollars.

While we’re talking about homeless people…there’s a new job idea for them.  They can write fortune cookies.  Here’s a sample:

“Life is like a box of chocolates…false.  Life is like an empty box of chocolates that you have to carry around so you have something to make poo-bears in.”